Dear Mama ( Father's side ) ,
I miss you so much , I really regretted not having to spend time
with you , chit chatting and all . When I was younger , you used to hug me really
tight , but I admit I took it for granted .
But now when you're gone , I realised how much I miss you . Flipping
through those photos that mum and dad took in the past of you and grandpa
makes me miss you even more . I know I won't be able to see you again ,
neither will the others but you will always remain in our hearts .
I'm really sorry that I couldn't make it to the hospital on 17 December 2008
to let you see me for the last time . You will always be my grand mother
and will always be the best grandma I ever had .
As I'm typing , more and more tears start rolling down ,
I really want to go back to the time when I was a kid and you would carry me
so tightly and warm , but I know , its impossible . I promise you that I will live
life to the fullness and be a good husband/son . I haven't got a chance to take
a picture with you , I didn't even think of it , what a 'great' grandson was I . Looking
through the photo albums again and again , seeing myself back then ,
a baby/toddler and finally into a young boy really makes me miss you , you
watched me grow up , you gave me the nickname 'Tai Hum Sup' ( Which
means the 10th child in the family who cries the most .) * not
the other meaning ' Hum Sap ',( Pervert ) .
At your funeral , I've spent all my 4days with you , these 4 days
have been really meaningful , mama , you're really a great wife/mother/grandmother.
After you passed away , mum told me and our relatives that you asked if I'm going
to the Polytechnic , mum said yes & you offered to sponsor me money for my books
and all . Mama , you're really the best . Although all these is already too late , but
Mama , I love you . To my readers , I call my grandmother as mama .
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To Mum & Dad ,
Although both of you might never read this , but I wanna
express it here . Same thing , looking through those photos , I have seen
how much both of you love me , pictures of me when I was a 3month old
baby and slowly a 3 year old toddler . Both of you took care of me really
well , especially mummy who always cares for me , but what am I now ?
I took things for granted , shouting at both of you when I'm in a bad mood ,
I never thought of the pain and hardship both of you had done to bring me up
into what I am now . I have been a bad son and brother , I wanna change ,
I wanna be a good son and brother , its really difficult but I will try , try my
best to change .
Papa , you have been a great dad to me , providing me with food ,
housing and most importantly , love .
Mummy , you showered me with your love and care , when I'm in
need of money , you will always be there to help me . Even when you don't have
enough for yourself, you would give me the money , you really sacrificed alot .
Mum , dad , I love you .
I wanna give you both a bug , but I don't have the guts to , I don't know
why .
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To Ah gong/Grandpa (Mother's side) ,
对不起(I'm sorry) . You too have been really nice to me ,
but I have in turn shouted at you , I know you feel hurt , always , I'm sorry .
我知道你一定不会看到我所在这里写的话，因为你不会用电脑，
可是，我也很爱你 . 我会尽量对你好，一定会的. 我不想你死，虽然你现在很健康，
但我很怕你会像外婆那样 . 我希望你能看到我结婚生孩子， 外公我爱你。( I know you won't be seeing what I'm typing online now as you don't know how to operate the computer ,
but I love you alot . I will try my best to treat you well , I really will . I don't wish for
you to pass away , although you are very healthy , but I'm afraid you will pass away
like how mama did . I hope you could watch me get married and have kids , Ahgong , I love you.
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I feel much better now,thanks for reading anyway :).
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