God , please bless baby Marcus .

To my precious Marcus :
Marcus , I love you , I miss you , I miss you calling me ' gorgor' .
I miss you saying 'sweet sweet' & I would give you a couple of
pallets and tell you , okay ' last one okay ?' & you'll be like , nodding
your head , but after that , you broke your promise and come asking
me for another ! Haha , Marcus :)
I miss you calling my mum 'AUNTYY!!!'
You're so smart , adorable , cute , handsome and small .
I haven't seen you for two weeks , its too sudden , i couldn't take
the shock .Why so many people related to me must go away so
suddenly , my grandmother & now you .
I still remembered 3 weeks ago , you were standing at your door
calling 'gorgor' & I was opposite at my door calling you .
You were like my friend/brother/son/neighbour .
How I wish you were here right now .
You used to sit on my lap , like right now , infront of my
computer , you'll be slapping the keyboard and I'll be feeding you food .
I miss those days before O levels when I was studying & you were on
the bed with me .* Cries * heard from the inside of my room , I would
then rush in to look after you & pat you back to sleep .
I even miss those times when we watched television together , like the
photo below , I gave you my justtea , look at you , so cute..adorable , you
even posed for the camera at times .
I only saw you once before I went to Thailand , I miss the times when I
held your hand . Why didn't you wait for gorgor to give you a hug ?
Why didn't you come back ?
Why did you only appear in my dreams and not reality ?Please ,
come to me in my dreams alright , I miss you .
Tears keep dripping and I can't stop crying , why , why issit so .
Issit because I miss you too much ?
Or I can't accept the fact that you're gone ?

I yearn for the day that I would see you grow up with your
elder brother and we might meet in the future sharing our
successful stories . But I guess this day won't happen anymore .
At the hospital , if you could see , everyone was crying for you ,
you looked like you were sleeping , but your skin was yellow in
colour , whats the cause of it ? If it were to be dengue , I'll be
suing the childcare centre you used to study at . Its only been 4
months since we stopped taking care of you and you went to the
playgroup . You looked so cute in the uniform .

Your favourite drink was the chilled water in my very own water
bottle from my fridge . You would always follow me to the fridge
& at the point of time when I open the fridge , you would say ,
' um um ' telling me that you want to drinkkkk .
You're such a gourmet you know , always eating and all .
I also remember the times when my mum pat you to sleep when it's
raining , mummy would say , ' Faster sleep , see 'gingklonggingklong'(thunder)
coming already , faster 'orh orh'(sleep) .
You'll be like so scared and you'll hug my mum . As you're sleeping ,
I would sleep beside you at times , making sure you sleep soundly .

When I got the news , I was damn shocked , I couldn't believe it ,
I thought your fever was just a minor one .
I was hoping that you were still living and the news were not real .
But turn out , it was true , I kept crying , y'know how much I love you .
Even my grandfather who don't really cry at times ,
but when he heard about it , I could see his eyes , they were red .

Do you know everyone misses you ? Your dad , mum , maid ,
grandfather and grandmother . Why did you have to go so early ?
You used to be a strong young boy ,
you rarely get sick , 1 year the most only 3 to 5 times .
Usually it was just flu , but till now , I don't know about your sickness .

Baby , will you come back ? I miss you , I wanna see you , now you're in the mortuary ,
when you were pushed into the freezer , I felt damn painful , its so cold in there ,
you're gonna be examined later , they have to cut you open , how painful is that .
Its so hurtful to think about it , BABY MARCUS , I NEED YOU BACK.
I feel damn down now , I know you can't come back already , but I just wish , you'll appear in my dreams tonight & I'll play with you like how we used to , I give you your favourite chilled
water , justtea , sweets , biscuits , I'll read to you the puzzle story book that you used
to press the button on it and there will be a certain sound coming out from it ,
the DINOSAURS one especially .

Remember the times where I used to raise my voice at you so that you will go to sleep ?
Or the times when you took my karaoke mic and make funny sounds , like ' AHHHH' .
How cute and adorable were you , I miss you .
I can't stop crying , I keep thinking bout you . I wanna sing a song for you .
A love song , if I will ever get into a singing competition , I would dedicate a song for you ,
that will be a promise .

Peekaa.......BOOOO ! There you go laughing , remember ?
Everyday after cca , I would rush back home , just to see you , but usually , you will be
back home , although you're just beside my house , but I still yearn to see you .

Marcus , come back .
You love Barney , remember down by the bay ?
Down by the bay down by the bay ! Hey Mr little popper
popperly bob , I like it the way that you popperly bob !
I used to sing them to you and you'll laugh , don't you ?
You can watch any kind of shows , how wonderful is that .
I love it when you sit on my laps , on the sofa , watching
television together .
I would hold your hand , feed you , kiss you , sayang you ,
you were my best companion when I'm at home ,
other than my computer . I still remember , during Sundays
I will be like damn excited for Monday as I can get to see you .
I would ask mummy , ' Mummy , Marcus's coming tomorrow right ? '
Your brother and you look so alike , when you were lying on the
hospital bed just now , you looked so much like your brother .
I will visit you .
Y'know , gorgor's eyes hurt alot now after so much of crying ?
Make sure that you're in a better place now okay ?I love you .

All the pictures below were taken by JieJie Winnie and this post is dedicated specially for you .
Some were taken by gorgor also , rest in peace alright .


With love ,
Wilson Gorgor .

In front of my computer .

Past when I had short hair .
I used to feed him , takecare of him .

I love you Marcus , rest in peace , in heaven .
I wanna see you again .